The personhood of who is present

Lord...I've been hearing a great deal for a while now about practicing awareness of your presence...and how being in your presence seems to be the answer for everything.  I guess my thoughts today are mildly (and I hope humbly) challenging this premise.  You have me...who often sort of misplaces your presence.  But even when I KNOW you are with me (and for those I know who don't 'lose' you..only rarely)...and I'm fully aware of your presence...it isn't always enough.

From yesterdays devotional in Jesus Calling:  "Ask me to open your eyes so that you can find me everywhere.  The more aware you are of my presence, the safer you feel.  This is not some sort of escape from reality.  It is tuning in to ultimate reality.  I am far more real than the world you can see, hear, and touch."

Most of these devotions, many other sources, and your own Word...have spoken to more than safety being available through keen awareness of your presence.  I guess where I'm going though Lord is... the key is not JUST your presence.  Forgive me if that sounds sacrilegious.  Somehow I think you will.  I know we must begin somewhere...and certainly coming to a realization that you are truly there is a beginning.  But a deeper level of needs (and praise for that matter) are met not just from your presence...but in our learning to discern YOU while you are present.  It's in not only seeing you everywhere...but by everywhere seeing YOU. Who you are....how you are 'being' in that moment...how you're expressing your self...how you're interacting with us...how your heart is being intimate with ours.  It's in witnessing your PERSONHOOD...while you're present that we learn more of who you are...and who we are in you.  This is where deeper safety comes from...deeper joy...deeper satisfaction.  When the river flows and all our fears, distractions and aches are washed away.  And we realize you are meeting our every need...satiating our every longing.  When we understand that you ARE....our everything.  Not that we see you IN everything.  You ARE everything.  Then basking in your presence is precisely the remedy for all our cares, needs and desires.  But until then...until we are able to sense more than just your presence..but truly KNOW you and relate to you...and dwell on WHO is present with us...it will leave us lacking.

Knowing we are not alone is not enough.  If we're still focused on the storm...the waves...the drought...then having someone present in it doesn't cut it.  Having a 'presence' like the friends of Job wouldn't cut it.  A presence of our spouses or dearest earthly friends...is not enough.  But this presence...the presence of the One who is with us...is YOU!  It's you out walking on the waves of the storm.  It's you in the burning bush in the scorched desert.  It's you in the fiery furnace.  You in the lions den.  You on the serene forest trail.  You in the rain.  You in the sunsets that you have painted.  It's ALL...an expression of you.  Every moment...an interaction with you.  The Almighty King of kings and Lord of all other lords.  The wonderful counselor, might God, everlasting Father...Prince...of peace.  YOU...ruler of the universe.  You...Lover of my truest, deepest soul.  You...my pursuer, redeemer, rescuer, provider, nurturer, champion, healer....my Groom.  The One who moved heaven and earth...and the God who became man to reach me where I was...and find myself today.  The One whose blood was savagely, viciously spilled out....who surrendered his life and perfect union with his Father...to purchase me back. The One who goes to prepare a place for me...to be with him forever.  You see...only when we focus and dwell on the PERSON who is present with us...does it unravel the mystery and either meet our every need and fulfill our every longing....or you neutralize the needs or longings that are not of you.  Either who you are...answers every question....or you void the meaningless inquiries of a finite mind and the questions just don't matter anymore.  You are so much MORE.  So much greater...bigger...stronger...wider...deeper...higher...than ANYTHING that can fit within the human soul still trapped in a fallen world.  As massive our caverns of desperate need...as festering our wounds...as confounded our minds...as insurmountable our challenges...as searing our pain...as despairing our dark night...as insatiable, by any and all earthly means, our fiercest desires...as LOUD and forlorn our guttural GROANINGS!!! Lord.... you are more.

And in a little while...all you are will be fully open and available...to all I am.  And all of me...will revel..and drink in to my core...all that you are.

Until then Lord...remove these earthly blinders.  Unlock my worldly chains.  Swing wide the prison doors...whether other or self imposed, real or imagined.  Remove the coverings over my ears.  Silence every distraction.  Scatter dark clouds and shine your light.

Let me see your face.  Let me hear your heart.  Let me feel your embrace.  Let me know I am yours.

And in the words of Switchfoot...in their song 'Let that be Enough':

"Let me know that you hear me.  Let me know your touch.  Let me know that you love me.  Let that be enough."