How to duplicate Mighty Men? - Part VI - “Return of the King!”

Boy oh boy!...do I remember the time when my dad told me I could finally go up to deer camp with him and "The Guys!" …”Opening Day of Gun Season”…. “The Super Bowl of Deer Hunting!” November 15th, the most important date on the calendar as far as I was concerned. An invitation to deer camp for a 12 year old; you’d thought I’d been given all of my Christmas and birthday presents for the next ten years. The adventure of traversing north into the great forests of northern Michigan was big man stuff and for me a young 12 year old boy, that invitation changed my life forever.

About the end of October each year, I’d start to notice piles of hunting gear appear out of nowhere….spreading out across our pool table in the basement… almost like a scene from MacGyver. The smell of past years camp fire smoke permeated the air and would fill my little nose and cause my eyes and hands to wander, quickly surveying and fondling the loot…“Aaah yes the famous red and black plaid wool hunting jacket, wool socks, scoped bolt-action rifle, rope, saw, axe, canteen, compass, gloves, knife, flashlight, hunting license, and the gear would continue to appear”. For the next 2 weeks, I'd continue to head down stairs after dinner to find dad checking gear off his list, sharpening knives, cleaning firearms, checking flashlight batteries and bulbs, oiling boots, tying up rope, making sure his pack had all of the “tricks and treats” required to make every trip safe and exciting.

Then by our departure day, usually the evening of November 13th, dad would have everything bought, cleaned, sharpened, repaired and packed and his list was checked 2 and 3 times. You didn’t have to guess where or what we were going to do…let me tell you. I’m not sure if it was the “hunters orange vests” hanging in the window of our car that gave it away or more likely it was the 12 year old boy, smiling ear to ear, wearing a hunters orange hat that was two sizes too big, riding shotgun with dad.

See heading north into the "Wilds of Michigan"… to “Deer Camp”… was sort of like “Boy Scouts” on steroids. It was a "tradition"…that included a small group of men made up of my Dad, Uncle Bob, and “Doc” (Uncle Bob’s dad) who were not just hunters, but they were my mentors, elders, husbands, fathers and then sportsmen.

Dad was my own personal GI Joe, who’d spent a couple years in the jungles of Vietnam and as you might imagine taught me everything from the planning of trips, to proper handling and care of firearms, types of gear, utilize topographic maps and a compass in order to navigate the big woods.

Uncle Bob taught me the "How to’s" of deer hunting..."What a buck rub or scrape was?"..."Where to find deer trails?"... "How to locate and build a deer blind?”….”where deer eat, sleep and drink?”….

"Doc" was the veteran hunter, a former pastor and farm boy. Doc taught me about the tree's, leaves and Gods great wildlife. He taught me his "special" approach to building Doc’s world famous “roastin' fires!"....aahhh yes, If Doc only new how his fire building lessons have been remembered and passed on down through years and now decades of deer camps…."Doc's legacy still lives on!"

This experience as a young man was as crucial to me then as it is to me today as an adult. The only difference today is the older I’ve gotten, the more I realized that other men didn’t have that same experience growing up as a boy. They didn’t have the opportunity to have other men pour into them the blessings of God’s “wild-hearted” spirit.

All too often as men, we’re taught to participate in team sports as young boys. Yet, years later, we find ourselves grown up with families of our own and the only “risk and reward” we find is from our couch, cheering for a team on the television that doesn’t know our needs or desires. If that’s not enough…the only exciting physical activity we exert is the “challenge” of changing channels on the remote control and moving from chair to couch and couch to chair.

Now, I played baseball, soccer and ran track throughout middle school and high school and at the time I really enjoyed it. I believe there is a lot of value to being apart of “team”. Team sports are an excellent venue to learn each others gifts and strengths. But, when I grew up and looked back on my life, I really valued more of those “one on one” conversations or “group” moments around the campfire with “the guys”. Men who poured their own “individual gifts” into me; unaware of the how their example would help me form my life’s foundation. Today, I draw upon those memories and skill sets while teaching and mentoring others about God’s message of our “wild hearts”.

These lessons that I learned were not just about hunting, guns and outdoors activities. On the contrary, those lessons just set the stage to talk about the more “dangerous” conversations like God, Marriage, Family and Country. The key lessons and conversations that as a young man I’d needed to understand and embrace. That one day I would not only teach my son and daughters their importance, but other men like my “Backwoods Brothers”, who are raising “young and wild-hearted” sons and daughters for God as well. My foundation as a man started as boy, who was invited to go north, into God’s wild kingdom, into a classroom filled with lessons to be learned, skills to be applied, from mentor’s who “walked” God’s example of discipleship first and foremost in their lives.

Unfortunately, most people’s impression of hunting today is some combination of “Illiterate sportsmen whose improper use of guns only causes hunting accidents?” OR “The promotion of inhumane killing of “cute and cuddly” animals?” OR “That deer camp is only an excuse to get away from our wives or family to drink and play cards?” ….hhhmm?? Oooohhh! How wrong that definition or impression is of our deer camp at least.

Today, almost 26 years later, this young boy became a man. A man who God has blessed me and my family with many “victories” since then, but has equally suffered much causality along the way. But, my “story”…“my little victories and failures” has not only helped me identify “who I am?” but has provided a unique “ingredient” into my “band of brothers” recipe too, if you will.

Each of my brothers could tell their own story, whether it would be 6 chapters long or not, I’m not sure. But, they each have a different story, a different ingredient, with a specific area of need and issue that they’ve had to wrestle with, independent of each other. Over the years, witnessing each others “story’s” first hand, the mistakes and successes, continues to “sharpen and weave” strength into each other relationships with God, our wives and children.

My “Backwoods Brothers” reminds me of the characteristics of a rope. A rope is a bundle of fibers/threads/wires twisted together. You may ask, “Why not just use a thicker single strand?”….while a single strand should have the same strength as a rope of the same cross sectional area. There are several reasons why a rope is often a better solution. Mainly, if one fiber fails the rope remains intact. Whereas a rope made of a single large fiber/strand would fail catastrophically, thus the value of a ‘band of brothers”!

In the “Lord of the Rings” trilogy, Aragorn called by Gandalf 'the greatest traveler and huntsman in this age of the world', experienced many great adventures, and traveled to many distant lands, before claiming his kingship.’ It’s funny, when I first found out about RH.net I told my “Backwoods Brothers” about it right away. Immediately, Drew, one of my bros, emailed me my “KIRBAGORN" profile picture for me to use. But, I have to be honest, initially, when I saw the photo and realized it was a combination of me and Aragorn, I didn’t see myself as that hero from the “Return of the King”….the warrior who fought and won back his identity…who rescued the “beauty” and became the new King of Gondor!

Honestly, I felt more comfortable representing a loner…a tough guy hero…more like “The man with no name”….the legendary cowboy, Clint Eastwood. I immediately felt better about being a loner, honestly. “Why not be like Clint?..I asked myself?”… “Come on what’s wrong with.…you know….the famous movie trailer from “Fist full of Dollars”…. that says “This short cigar…belongs to the man with no name!”…“This long gun….belongs to the man with no name!”…“Danger fits him like a tight black glove!”….heck yeah!...that’s me I thought? But, I believe Drew was speaking God’s wisdom into me unknowingly…causing me to look and dig deeper.

Weeks later I found myself writing this blog series and ironically found myself pondering this question “How to duplicate Mighty Men?” God started to weave into me, that my life has some similarities to Aragorn’s character. I started thinking to myself “Well, I guess the restoration of my marriage and family challenges certainly didn’t happened by themselves” or “That I just prayed to God and He made my wife “see things my way?” OR “That by some fluke accident, my marriage automatically was restored? This path ultimately required my faith in God number one…but I equally needed to “Walk by Faith” and find the confidence that I needed in myself in order to see what God had truly planned for me and my family? Therefore, having a brother walk down this trail with me, made my life much more manageable and productive in the long run.

Aragorn traveled many a dangerous trails and roads throughout his adventures, but as we LOTR fans know, he did not travel by himself. Aragorn, with a “fellowship” of 8 other warriors, from different backgrounds, cultures and skill-sets, helped Aragorn find “Who” he was and “What” his destiny looked like. It was through those tough fought battles, the encouragement and accountability of his “fellow warriors” that Aragorn finally saw himself, as the lost King of Gondor and not “strider” the poser that he lived by for far to long….Aragorn found his identity and “Returned as the King!”

I openly praise John Eldredge and I am personally grateful for “Wild At Heart!” I haven’t met John yet, but I do look forward to that day. Yet, I don’t have to meet him to know what kind of “Warrior” he is. He is unconventional and tenacious and therefore speaks to my spirit. A man who frankly, put his "balls” where his mouth is and isn’t afraid to honor God’s Call! Wild At Heart helped me and my brothers focus our efforts towards understanding and identifying our true inner warrior, our identity, our purpose as a husband, as a father, as a leader, a point-man.

But, if it wasn’t for my “band of brothers” and each of our unique gifts and strengths, we wouldn’t have known how to “apply” what “W@H” explains and illustrates. Therefore sadly, all of John’s efforts would have turned out like most good books we read. We would have read the book and pretended to know how to change our life, our actions… thinking “Ok, now I know how to love my wife more, now that I read that book?" OR “Ok, now that I understand what my wound is, I’ll be ok…it doesn’t bother me anymore…I’ve forgiven my dad!” OR “Now that I have the answers of why I’ve lusted after other women and had issues with pornography….I’ll be fine now!”….hhhmmm? ...Fine?

Do we really think we’d be fine after just reading a book and magic presto we’re fixed? We sure do think these things don’t we? ...You can “feel” really moved and motivated to change. But, that’s as far as you’ll go with that great new book or notes from that great seminar you sat in on over the weekend. It’s sort of like reading a book on Navy SEALs and thinking “Ok, I can do this and head right out for battle!” You’d get an “A” for passion but you’d likely get “wacked” for the lack of training and proper planning.

Honestly, my band of brothers and I weren’t any different from most men, who subconsciously find themselves “sucking their thumbs, in a fetal position, hoping never to be exposed and wishing all the time they could “prove out” that they “have what it takes!?” Yet, what is missing is another brother cheering you on…“That helps you realize your responsibility within your marriage and family”….“Help’s you see your potential”…“That it really starts with you making that commitment to God, yourself and your family!”…that new pact to believe in is your “Creed”!

Doesn't honesty…raw honestly suck? ....I hate it! It makes me feel so vulnerable. Doesn’t it make you angry? ….Well, it should. Frankly, we spend way too much time being safe. I used to say to myself …“what’s the point of a “band of brothers”….cause my accountability is only with God anyway?”…“I vent to God, that’s supposed to be enough….right?” Today, I could almost laugh at myself and say “Right Mike?...that’s a nice and cozy approach. Way to put it all out there on the line for your family, your children, for your wife of 15 years, Aragorn!” ...Yep, the truth hurts! ...but God is Good! He is there to comfort us. He answers our prayers with all kinds of resources everyday we just need to believe and start “walking” by faith.

We tend to hide from our true identity, yet our spirit cry’s out for “freedom!” God is there. God is patient and resilient for children. His love is never fading and unconditional. But, God has a much bigger plan for us that we do not see and often we sell ourselves short. It’s so easy to watch someone else’s movie and see how it begins and ends and we just sit back and hope that’s how we turn out and make no attempts to change the course of our lives, even if it’s right in front of our nose.

Well, I’ve already completed almost five pages for this chapter and so I’ll stop here. I hope part’s V and VI provided you with good overview of what “A Band of Brothers” may look like for you. I want to encourage you to look within yourself to realize “Your stories” and how your “ingredients” would bring value to your own “band of brothers!”

Part VII I will try and start to explain and illustrate …”How to indentify the likely men in your peer groups and community that could be apart of your new ‘band of brothers’?” ...”How often do you meet as a group?”... “What does the format for meetings/trips look like?” ...“What to discuss? Basically, how to function as a band so that God is centered first and foremost in your group. That you’ll build strong relationships with these men and when you’re down, you’ll be encouraged to keep going and not lose faith and yet when you succeed, you’ll walk a little prouder as the man, the warrior that God wants you too see in yourself. That ultimately, as God’s chosen protector of your family, that your wife and children will thank God for bringing your “new brothers” into your lives.