"I completely agree. To me going to church leaves a bad taste in my mouth. I have a desire for the best pizza on earth, but church is like being force fed a circular peace of card board. For the life of me I can't generate any enjoyment from…"
"I have a friend who lives down the street and she sees demons as well. When I was visiting her I would see them as well. There would be dark shadows in the lighted room that both she and I could see moving around. Sometimes the light in her…"
"When I became a Christian at 17 the spiritual realm opened up. I could see demons and Angels. I could see the traps that Satan was setting up, how he was strategic in his planning. I dont believe in ghosts because the bible says that man has been…"
My name is Lee. I am 25. I currently live in Odessa TX as of seven months ago, but was born in socal. Tell you a bit about myself? I play guitar, read, sing, watch movies play video games, go to college and work. But my real motivation in life is to find meaning. For a while I've been wondering and thinking and trying to figure out why my life feels nothing like the movies I love. Not all my favorite movies are epics either which JE says tell the gospel story. Many are comedy's, and other genre's.
There must be something in those films that I love so much, and there must be an element or elements that i am missing. Maybe I do not perceive my life as I percieve the character's lives in the film. Maybe I have more faith in their story than in mine. In many stories I know that the main character is going to have a happy ending , but I can't say the same for myself. My heart opens up when I watch the movies I love, but after I press stop on the dvd player, I go back to my life, and my heart no longer opens up. Pessimism clouds the air and the daily struggle for life returns again as it has for years and years seeming never to end. Where is my big break in life? When will the plot of my story unfold into something bigger and better? These are questions I don't think will be answered. But I still , being persistant press with the questions and hope for an answer that truly satisfies me.
Wow, Kirbagorn's answer to you is awesome! I am 42 and married to a man who also does not have an identity, and it's a hellish existance. I will pray that you find yourself in Christ - and not accept any counterfeits the world has to offer...money, power, women who seem to give you what you want. Only accept the best and the real love that comes from God.
Have you read "Wild At Heart" yet? That's a good place to start. You have so much to offer...Batman is only the beginning. ;-) Wait until you find out who you REALLY are - it's more stunning than you can imagine! God bless you!
At 11:08am on September 26, 2008, Mike Kirby said…
Welcome Lee. You're in the right place. I too was lost without an identity and I am now 37. I got married when I was 22 and my wife and I have had 3 kids. About our 7th year we had a pretty horrific seperation. Through our reconsilation, one of the biggest issues I found in our marital problems was "I didn't have an identity" that seperated me from my family.
You know it's crazy because you'd think I had it all. I grew up in a middle class neighbor hood. My dad had his own company and made good money. We all went to church and my dad was an elder at church. I went to college got my degree. Met my wife and got married. I had a great job working for my dad's company. Have a nice house. beautiful healthy kids.....yet no identity.
....yes it's possible to have all of that "stuff" and not be happy. How you ask?
Well, even though I grew up in a very close family that had all of the best of intentions to provide a nurturing and loving atmosphere. I never experience my own opinion or what it would look like to fulfill my goals or dreams without my family's consent. Unfortunately up until my wife and I's seperation, I needed my folks "consent" on everything. I didn't have confidence in myself for anything believe it or not.
It was crazy. Well, I can say half the battle to finding yourself is to "journal" about your most important dreams and aspirations. What you would do if you could change over night? It's ok to be Batman, but it sounds like you'd like to tear a page from "Bruce Wayne's book", maybe a page from "Batman's book" and maybe another page from Neilson's book. That's great. That's what life's all about . Is building a life that you feel God want's you to live, while using your most important strengths you bring to the table.
I'd encourage you to keep asking the "hard questions" and "praying for answers". Journal your thoughts and fears...use this online community as a way to "hit" your fears head on.
The problem is we all don't want to make the hard decisions. We all want a quick fix. God doesn't always work that way. He has made you to become something pretty special for his plan. Be patient. Be tempered. Perserve.