Strong-willed son
I have a 10-yr old son who has many great qualities but is extremely strong-willed and really gets "stuck" on something and can't let it go usually until I get really frustrated and angry (or punish him). Also, right now he is really questioning his faith (he has shown a strong love for Jesus since about 4 yrs old) and I would love some advice on how to best respond to him.
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Todd Hilton on -
Ed,
This sounds like a pre-teen trying to establish control in a situation where he feels powerless. Oft times, our children, especially boys, get a bit confused as they ride along as passive passengers on the trips that we plan as parents. He is looking for validation that what he thinks and does, "Matters". Focus on his interests for a while, and let him do some of the planning. Maybe take him on a journey where he is the one in charge. Fight the urge to give him all the answers. Let him struggle. Let him win.
On the subject of questioning faith, haven't we all been there? Questioning in and of itself is very healthy. For without asking questions, how will he find the true answer? We were not called to follow as blind sheep, but to stand and to claim what is right in HIS eyes. Respond to him not with disappointment that he has raised the question, but with excitement that you are taking this journey of discovery "together".
Ed, you are a great father with so much to be thankful for. Count your blessings in the midst of turmoil, and anticipate the greatness that lies within your family with your leadership. Make a stand, and make it boldly. You are fearfully and wonderfully made.
Firmly in HIS grip,
Todd
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Permalink Reply by Ed Kivett on -
Tood - Thanks so much. Appreciate the terrific advice, insight and encouragement. Praying you will be encouraged today too!
Ed
Todd Hilton said:Ed,
This sounds like a pre-teen trying to establish control in a situation where he feels powerless. Oft times, our children, especially boys, get a bit confused as they ride along as passive passengers on the trips that we plan as parents. He is looking for validation that what he thinks and does, "Matters". Focus on his interests for a while, and let him do some of the planning. Maybe take him on a journey where he is the one in charge. Fight the urge to give him all the answers. Let him struggle. Let him win.
On the subject of questioning faith, haven't we all been there? Questioning in and of itself is very healthy. For without asking questions, how will he find the true answer? We were not called to follow as blind sheep, but to stand and to claim what is right in HIS eyes. Respond to him not with disappointment that he has raised the question, but with excitement that you are taking this journey of discovery "together".
Ed, you are a great father with so much to be thankful for. Count your blessings in the midst of turmoil, and anticipate the greatness that lies within your family with your leadership. Make a stand, and make it boldly. You are fearfully and wonderfully made.
Firmly in HIS grip,
Todd
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Permalink Reply by Jones Doughton on -
I appreciate wisdom in this area-I think I have a strong willed son in the making.
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Permalink Reply by Todd Hilton on
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A strong will properly nurtured by a Godly man equals a mighty warrior.
Jones Doughton said:I appreciate wisdom in this area-I think I have a strong willed son in the making.
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Permalink Reply by David Lin on -
Todd,
Thank you for your wise words. What I hear you saying is let this boy individuate, become his own man. If not allowed he will be forced to rebel or become passive and withdrawn. Look at the Prodigal Son's father. He gave his son so much money and freedom to 'leave' and did not squelch his son. Then the return became possible.
I also look at Samuel and how he fathered Saul. Letting Saul wait and be tested, rather than giving him the easy solution. Samuel purposely delayed fixing Saul's problem (a priest to quickly encourage his men) rather than control the whole situation. This is hard for me to do as a Dad, but I want my kids to be their own person.
Todd Hilton said:A strong will properly nurtured by a Godly man equals a mighty warrior.
Jones Doughton said:I appreciate wisdom in this area-I think I have a strong willed son in the making.
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