How to be a father without having children.
My wife and I are unable to have children. But that does not mean we can not be a father. As John teaches, everyone needs fathering and every man can father. There is, however a pain which runs deep for those of us who can not be Biological fathers. I know we can adopt, and if we do adopt, we will truly be a father. There is still, if I am being honest, a hurt which runs through. If there are any men out there who are childless, you understand the feeling. Lets talk about it.
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Todd Hilton on -
Dan, Great to hear from you. I cannot say that I can identify with your pain personally, but my best friend and his wife share your walk. There have been times that the hurt rose to the surface and he would allow me close enough to get a glimpse of the situation in its rawest form. They did end up adopting two beautiful children from Guatemala. You are absolutely right that having biological children is not necessary to sharing the fathering wisdom. Undoubtedly you have and will have a great impact on many that look to you for guidance. Brother, Fathering comes in many different forms. I pray that God will guide and comfort you as you explore what HE has planned for you and your bride.
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Permalink Reply by Jeff Siemens on -
Dan > Although, I'm sure not nearly as tough a situation as yours, though I don't know your entire story, we went through a painful season in our effort to have children. Two miscarriages, then a son was born and that was pure joy. Then two years of trying again and another year of fertility treatments without results. Finally, we had to make a decision to let go of our dream or adopt. I was ready to accept our situation and let the hope go, but my wife expressed continued longings for another child and she began researching adoption options. My issue was a combination of not being sure I could love an adopted child like I loved our biological son and an ignorant prejudice toward adopted kids as somehow second class human beings. I was dragging my heels until a revelation came to me that changed my reluctance to adopt. After listening to various sermons on our relationship with God the Father as "adopted children", a light went on - - - " Jeff, you are adopted!!!" Instantly, my heart was transformed. We poured ourselves into the open adoption process and a year and a half of effort resulted in an amazing story of God's ways not our ways ushering us into a completely out-of-left-field kind of adoption where (to make a long story short) a 17 year old pregant girl from South Dakota entered our lives and gave us a beautiful and wonderous little girl who is now 11 years old ( see her on my page photos ). All that to say, keep your hope burning.
" Trust the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart."
Your hope + his grace = miracles happen in the least expected ways.
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