To connect with other brothers and sisters of Christ who are single. This is a great way to encourage, connect, and build community.
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You're welcome Jeanne. Hope those words helped.
:) thanks Randy
Ladies, both of you are right on! If you have a broken wrist and every hour I walk by and smack your hand; eventually the ends of the bones will heal over and you will have a permanently broken wrist. Then the doctors will have to operate and shave the ends of the healed over bones off, put in a plate and screws before your wrist will heal properly. OR.......... You can remove the source of irritation (me walking by every hour and smacking your hand) and then your broken wrist will heal properly.
Long story to say, sometimes we have to distance ourselves from those who are not HEALTHY for us.
Relationships are two way. Both sides pour into each other. If it is one sided it is an abusive relationship!!!
Spend time pouring into those who will receive it. I remember something about not casting your pearls before swine that I think would apply in this situation. You can spend a lifetime of wasted effort trying to pour into someone who is not willing to receive. Jesus spent a lot more time pouring into those who were willing to receive than He did on those who would not.
sorry, me again.
what is mine to do and what is God's to do...
there's another of those vexing things to discern hahaha.
anyone got a roadmap for that one?
Oh Valerie so well said.
lots here. good stuff too. i too understand that disorientation after losing the weight of some spiritual burden that was never mine to carry. and am working out how to function without it as well.
you mentioned discernment of waiting and allowing a person to be who they are not expecting but to balance that with - are they someone (for lack of a better word here) 'worth' giving the time and effort to allow them to grow, with grace. here is the sticky part for me, after all these years holding out that God is going to do great work in someone i love (my mom) and pouring my heart into her loving her holding her up to Him. Is it time to walk away? Seems so to me at this time because she has told me in no uncertain terms that she wants nothing to do with my life other than for me to serve her. and her alone. so i have come to the conclusion (with much grief) that i must hold my heart away from her and not allow those arrows in any longer.
loving her and liking her are two different things. i do love her. she has told me that she does not love me. i accept that. and i know that has been a formative force in my life because I've always known that. whatever the reasons ...
in my life i look to people's hearts for who they are, what they believe, if they are someone to invest in. i find value in almost everyone and love them as best i can where they are. but if they cover their hearts to the point that i cannot see them for who they really are then i am at a loss as to what to do with them.
i do not hold hatred for anyone any longer, often much pity for the state of pain they are in. but i must avoid this kind of toxic black hole in people who would suck love from me and give nothing in return. i have yet to figure out how to be safe from them so right now i choose to avoid as much as possible.
i trust that God my father my lover my friend holds my heart in safety and directs my path so that even in this shadow of death i do not fear. i know love and i know security because of Him.
it's these infernal people that have me vexed! (joke there)
at any rate i much appreciate your words and viewpoint. too often i get stuck inside myself and cannot see out there where others are..
i figure I've got a lot left to do here, else i'd be with my love in complete freedom. what i can learn from others is helping me do what i'm here for i believe.
yes indeed quite a discussion!
I'm wondering if I'm being misunderstood here ...
Please let me clarify?
I was raised in southern Cali where as a kid we rebelled against the 'plastic people' - aka posers as I call them. My mom was one of the best. I don't think she really exists or at least I've never seen the real person behind all the masks. My mom has never come out and has never loved beyond her own self. That's a long story in itself.... But, as a result I came to loathe people who were not themselves, not true, not real.
Now because love and acceptance has been given to me (or I've found what was available from Jesus) I can also extend that to others, posers or not. But the ones that I open my whole heart to are few and far between and only in the recent past have I been able to find people that I considered my heart truly safe with. And yes Randy there are circles of friends that extend out as you described from all inclusive to lesser and lesser. I agree with you there whole heartedly.
So I'm not saying that I think believers should 'cram' truth down others throats. I'm saying that as a believer I have to live from that truth, from that love, as best I can. Accepting people who are not willing to even allow a glimpse into who they are is difficult for me but I am willing to try and I do. The ones that give me the most problems however are the religious groups that are too afraid to admit failure or errors in life and are all about how they look on the outside. That lie is exactly what Jesus was combating with the pharisees long ago.
Looking for truth in others to me involves a degree of trust and openness that as people get to know each other opens up further and further until either that trust is broken and one pulls back or a bond is made and good friendship takes place. With some - things just don't click - and that's OK I'm just trying to figure out how to get to that first place of friendship with people because it seems more and more difficult for folks to allow another in.
And yes I'm seasoned myself at 58, but still learning and growing and consider myself long from the end of the journeys goals. It is really wonderful to have people here that take the time to communicate and share their hearts.
I agree with Valerie. The more seasoned I become the more I realize how damaging and restricting being "real" or "open" with many other can be. Not to be a poser or lie. Sometimes our openness will prevent us from being able to be used by God later in that person's life.
I look at our circle of friends as target. Most people are in the outer ring. As we get to know people they might move in to the next ring and so on. The Bull's-eye(center) contains 2 or 3 friends that you can share about anything with. The next circle out has maybe 5 to 8. The next after that maybe 12 to 15 and son on. As people come into your life and you get to know them better they move inward or outward. This happens all throughout our life. I speak from much experience(many hard lessons learned) here.
Peace in your journey
Thanks for that reminder. I have found a couple of peeps from my 'tribe' hahaha but still looking for the rest. I guess it's kind of ambiguous for me to just say 'truth' without the caveats of grace and mercy added in. My name means God's gracious gift and my heart reflects that grace more than my mind often thinks it wants to. Words on a page do not reflect the heart, unfortunately, as well as I desire.
I am looking looking lol, while content to do as He has me doing at the same time. No distraction from the job of loving that I have right now.
Truth has indeed set me free and I desire nothing less for everyone else I know. But it is up to the Holy Spirit to reveal this to them as you have said. My job is to love, and I earnestly endeavor to do just that. I too fall short but always with the understanding of the great love Jesus has shown me I get myself back up and continue on loving. Opening up here seems safe but as you say it perhaps requires a bit more discreetness with people face to face. I'll bear that in mind. For someone who has been through the things that I have in my life this is not easy. Something is lacking in social graces that I did not receive as a child. Hopefully I can receive grace as well for my deficiencies.
Again, thank you for the reminder.
Blessings on you my friend!
Looking looking looking. Anyone out there besides me looking? hahaha
I wonder how a 50 something is supposed to find companionship now days in this instant gratification world full of carnality? The 'church' offers mostly just posers - from my experience - and being a rebel for truth and honesty maybe it's just me? Well. I'd really like to meet face to face a person of truth and faith that just might want a relationship. I'm sure that I'm not alone here... or am I?
Howdy, Here I am again,on what may be a great journey, just have to ride it out, and see where I wind up! I' ma 56 year old, cowpoke, with a heart to tame the wild west, but! the body and energy to just visit! This Halloween, OCT.31,2012, I'll be another year older, don't worry about celebrating it to much, it's just another day , hope to be a little smarter. As I look back , over these, 18 years+ of the single life, a little memory of something I said ,over 20 years ago, keeps plaguing me" saying,"Man if I ever get single again, I'll never get married again." So watch we say or confess , ya never know, when it just might come back and bite ya! When the LORD says, GUARD YOUR TONGUE FROM SPEAKING GUILE, He ain't kidding!! Through out my life, with it's ups and downs, as we all do, at times. I made a comparison "MARRIED-VS-SINGLE LIFE! (m.- not much privacy.- s.- too much privacy.- m.- why don't we do! NO, NOT THAT WAY YOU'LL MESS IT UP! - s.- HEY, WHAT YA THINK OF!- N/A- M.- WILL YOU STOP AT THE STORE, ON YOUR WAY!- S.- N/A - M.- BOY , I'M TIRED, CAN YOU ----? S. N/A M. WHAT SHOULD WE? S. I GUESS, I'LL!- N/A - M.- I'M NOT FEELIN GOOD, CAN YOU? - S.- N/A - M.- I'M TIRED, LETS GO TO BED!- S.- I GUESS IT'S ME AND YOU AGAIN, DOG( NO DOG)! - M.- I'M SO GLAD WE HAVE EACH OTHER!- S.- N/A M. LET'S PRAY ABOUT THIS!- S.- N/A- BOW HEAD.- M.- WHAT'S FOR DINNER,-----? - S.- N/A- ( N/A= NO ONE THERE!-M=-MARRIED,-S=-SINGLE) THESE RESPONSES are what I deal with on a daily basis. I guess that's why it's not good to be alone!! If you're married, watch your words guard your tongue, heart, eyes, and body language. Satan is ready to jump on anything!!. When the LORD says, WHOM GOD JOINS TOGETHER, LET NO ONE PUT IT A SUNDER! If the thought of divorce even crosses your mind,( unless there is a life threatning situation,) Ya got ta grab a hold to whatever, got ya married in the first place! NEVER LET GO , KEEP GOD IN THE CENTER AND HEAD OF YOUR FAMILY, SAYING, WE ARE MORE THAN CONQUERS THROUGH THE BLOOD OF JESUS CHRIST, BECAUSE THIS FAMILY IS A TWO FOLD CORD, AND WE ARE NOT EASILY BROKEN!! If your single, cut yourself some slack,Yesterday is gone and tomorrow is not here yet, TAKE CONTROL TODAY, of what you can, and pray GOD to take care of what ya can't! Try to love others as you want to be loved, but! it doesn't always work the way ya hoped for, especially us singles, we gotta be careful! I go to church, every week, I read my bible and pray everyday. I pay my tithes,(that belongs to GOD already) to support my local church! But! when I try to reach out to others, it seems, I'm just wasting there time and mine! We have to guard our hearts,I've found,in most cases it falls on deaf ears. I'm a disabled man, physically and mentally. My left foot, all the nerves have been SHATTERED, and IV'E been diagnosed with severe clinical depression. Whether it's physical pain or mental anguish, it don't matter, it hurts! Being a loner, most of my life,not a bad way to be, in my younger days.! I, pretty well got used to it. But now, I could use a little company, sometimes, just to talk or listen! To be honest, I only have myself to blame. Not much since in doing that now, is there? Those days, of a working cowboy for me, are all but gone, but! MY HEART IS STILL THERE!! I don't know, if any of you out there, have had any of the same feelings or even similar, the only one to truly count on is JESUS! For those who are married, I encourage you to not let any excuse,as: I DON'T LOVE THEM ANY MORE, WE'VE JUST GROWN APART, I ONLY STAYED FOR THE CHILDREN!! And so on and so on. Keep GOD center of your family. If your divorced, and don't see any hope of getting back together! I have to pray, LORD GOD, FORGIVE ME, I ALLOWED MY WILL TO OVERRIDE YOURS AND I'M SORRY. I pray, LORD JESUS, let them forgive me, i know we both done wrong, I should have never given up. LORD, HELP ME FORGIVE MYSELF. OL'E COWPOKE
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